Friday, February 02, 2007

Inner Universe

Looking at the eternal problems in this external world, I was under chaos and confusion and wanted a solution for it. There were a lot of solutions that led to other problems and did not give an end to it.
Thinking about the chaos and confusion that was going on in my mind, i was trying to elminate it in all possible ways and the inner universe is so troubled that it needed peace to think clearly what is happening exactly within and around. I realized that if i could not attend to myself, who else will. Even when there are loving people and caring people around me helping me to get rid of it, i could not. Then i tried to get to the self to know myself more clear what am i doing and where i am. It took me to another universe which i have formed. It was so messed up and i regretted being the creator of it. I was so engaged in cleansing
it and i had no time for this external world. There was no harmony in myself and how can i expect the same from the external world. Desire, expectations, possessions, wealth, ego all these things were so much accumulated that my SELF lost its identity or humanity what it is meant for. By even thinking about all these worldly things, i was again sucked into same mess by question myself, what am i going to do in the world without desire or possessions.

I found no language to communicate with my soul and it was difficult for me to attend it to it. At times i have heard from many people say that. It is my turn to realise that with this introspection. The more i got into it, it only added meaning for the word insanity, which we have coined for this external world. In this process, i lost myself being in this physical world and there was only silence and i was busy finding the language to communicate with the inner self that i did long back. In the process i forgot to live for which i am meant to be. If i could not exhibit my humanity with the people close to me, where else can i exhibit them.
It was time to turn my fingers to point towards me and clean up the mess. The first and foremost thing that anyone can bring a change is the " self" and not others or the external appearance or the world. Because those are in the endless process of change. I realised mind is only a tool to connect to the external world and most of the time it puts everyone in trouble with more analysis and assumptions. Whoever forgot to use it to connect it to the outer world were defined under the category of being "insane".

I has conquered the "self" and it needs to be attented and to restore what i am meant for and be a human to help the humanity. I am in the process hoping to succeed....!

1 comment:

RNith said...

Realization is the most difficult part and if u are there i'm sure u will get what u want. Good luck with that.